Two Shall Become One

It is such a blessing when you see the truth of God manifest itself in your life.  No marriage is perfect, and we have our struggles but it is such a blessing to see things move in the direction of Glorifying and Honoring God in a marriage.  It is the little things you can see God in.  My wife and I cooked dinner together tonight. It started out that she was working on some school work and I decided to cook so she wouldn’t have to.  So I started cooking, as the food was cooking, I started working on writing a blog.  While I was working on the blog, my wife went into the kitchen and started some peas for a side, to go with the jambalaya I had started.  I later went and check the jambalaya and stirred the peas.  My wife then went and added some shrimp to the jambalaya and turned down the peas.  After the timer went off that I had set to let me know when the jambalaya was ready, my wife called to me and said “dinners ready.”  She started laughing and said, she said that like she cooked dinner.  As I got my plate I said, “thanks sweetheart for cooking.”  She replied, “I didn’t cook you did.”  So who cooked?  She did.  I did. We did as one.  As one, we cooked, neither one of us asking the other to do this or do that, we just did what should be done to make a meal for us.  Now, I can’t say that we do this in all areas of our marriage, but no doubt the goal is to move, talk, walk, think, live as one, on one accord.

The best piece of advice about marriage that I received from several people was to do everything together.  That is a principle me and my wife practice daily.  If one person can not go to something the other one general doesn’t go.  If there is an event after hours through my office that my wife doesn’t want to go to, guess who is not going either?  Me.  I like spending more time with my wife than with anyone at my office. When my wife is in class on the weekend, I am outside of the classroom studying.  When I have a meeting, my wife is with me as my eyes and my ears. When she does presentations, I am the teachers aide.  When I am presenting, she is there to help me.  Generally when you see one of us, the other one is not to far behind.  This marriage is about God’s glory.  I hear people say that you need alone time, guys/girls time, etc..  I don’t need no alone time from myself.  I have to spend at least 8 hours a day away from my wife while at work, why do I need more time away from her to have me time, or to hang with the boys.  There is no other person on this earth that I would rather spend more time with than my wife.  I didn’t get married to be away from my wife.  The two shall become one.  We will continue to do everything possible we can together.


Pastor Zebedee Bell and his wife once said to me and my wife marriage is like a triangle, with God as the head, and you and your wife as the other two points.  As you grow closer to God you will grow closer together.  With God as the singular point of focus, as my wife and I continue to press toward the mark, there is nothing else we can do but get closer, until we look like one.


I don’t want to spoil the movie for anyone, but I want to be like Tyler Perry’s character in the movie Why did I get Married? II.  I want to pay that much attention to my wife.  I want to be so in tune with her that I know when she has had a bad day and know what to do even without her saying a word. I want to know her.  Husbands pay attention to your wives, there is no accomplishment greater outside of your home that you need to accomplish that you need to sacrifice the attention that you should be paying to your wife. Husbands how can you pull off  Ephesians 5:25-26 “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her; 26 that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word…”,  if you don’t spend time with her.  You can not be washing her with the word if you are not spending time with her.


Your marriage is more important that your career.  If the choice is your wife or your career choice your wife, and choice to love and make your time together great.  Your marriage is more important than your children, than your church, than your ministry, etc.  Your personal relationship with Christ is the only thing more important than your marriage, and as you develop your relationship with Christ, your marriage will look more and more important to you.  There are many says out there concerning the impact you can make on one person, “if I can change one kids life”, “if I can save one person from going through such and such”, etc.  If you can impact the life of one person, why not choice that one person be your wife.